Developing strengths and self-esteem

Or, surviving mediocrity.

It’s possible you don’t know what you are really good at. You may be in a job, or in business for yourself, making good money, too, but not really kicking from your strengths. That is because you and I grew up mostly being concerned with improving our perceived flaws, not developing our strengths: what we are naturally good at.

How did that happen?

Let’s say you are about 6, 7 years old, a regular healthy kid, naturally curious. You can quietly spend hours watching bugs, leafs falling, rain, rivers, ants moving in long lines, pictures, images, people, texts, etc.! You are great at observing anything. You figure out for yourself how things work!

But, in the family you grow up:

Nobody acknowledges this fact about you.

They have observed your curiosity and even clarity in thinking somewhat, but they don’t consider this to be a talent, useful, practical money-making talent for your future! Anyway, you are little. They are still optimistic about you.

There must be some talents in this kid!…
they may think.

Your primary teachers also failed to notice your easiness in observing things as they are. You are too quiet. So, they tell your parents, that you cannot concentrate and focus, which is very strange since you can watch a bug without blinking for 40 minutes. What they really mean is that you hate memorizing stuff that has no meaning for you… and, they are clueless regarding how to make it be appealing to you.

No, they don’t say that, of course, and, now your parents are really worried about you.

They love you, care for you, but, they are guided by generally held values. Like the fear of what other people think and say about them. So, they do what most families do. They worry! And, they do their best to influence you to do stuff for your own good!

Nothing wrong with this, but, how do they know what is good for you? The truth is: they don’t know. Suddenly your parents are thinking about sports. So, they enroll you in various sports disciplines!

Now, your parents are happy with themselves.

Sports may be your ticket to a great abundant financial future, just as it is for many athletes. Your parents truly wish you well, but, what about your natural gifts in just silently observing things as they are? What about developing strengths and self-esteem?

Well, since your gift doesn’t fall within their range of values, it will just not be acknowledged! You were born with multiple intelligence, genius inside, from birth, but you have to ignore it since you have to comply with other’s people values, that you must take in, for your own emotional and physical safety, as you grow up.

Developing strengths and self-esteem will have to wait, 30+ years or more in some cases.

What happens deep inside you?

The seeds of future inner conflicts and conflicts with other people, such as your parents, begin to germinate and grow.

Fast-forward 5 years ahead. You are 12 years old, you still practice the sport your parents enrolled you in, you do well enough, but, you are not in the top 3 of your team. No matter how hard you work, there are these 3 other kids more gifted than you in this sport.

So, what do you, begin to say to yourself?

I’m not good enough. Why can’t I be better?”

Talking about developing strengths and self-esteem! You and all the people on Earth have the tendency to generalize everything. You will generalize this experience from 12 years old to all the other areas of your life. Being not good enough!

So you, like all the children on Earth were born a genius. However, you got to become mediocre just because you didn’t know any better than listening to grownups who also didn’t know any better.

You have obediently, maybe even fearfully, adopted common mass thinking and the values of other people, ignoring your strengths and your genius, just because this is how we grow children on Earth.

Like most people on Earth, maybe you, too, have wasted years trying to fix your imagined flaws rather than developing strengths and self-esteem. With different details, this story applies to probably the vast majority of people from Earth.

Wonderful news, though!

Times are changing: literally. Regardless of how much money you make or don’t make, it is always a good time to developing strengths and self-esteem, work on yourself.


Your parents, your caregivers, and teachers did the best they could. I’m sure of it. Forgive and start again! Whatever strengths you were born with they are still there… Learn how to activate them!

You have my love!


Sandi Dragoi

Informal Educator, Author of "Think Zing! How to be YOU!", "Transformation Inside-Out" online course, and other self-awareness courses and books. The Host of The Zingnificent Show, Speaker & Personal Instructor. Above everything, Dad, in Love! ❤️

View all posts

Add comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.


30 Minutes, Personal Breakthrough Session – FREE!

In what area of your life do you need a change of perspective?

Make an appointment