Before we wrap things up and finish the “Think Zing!” book and its series, I want to share with you a final idea about your emotional mental attachments.
“Self-awareness is the ability to take an honest look at your life without any attachment to it being right or wrong, good or bad.”
– Debbie Ford
What are the emotional mental attachments, again?
It is a narrow point of view. Your current beliefs, your current values and your judgments about how things and people are. Or better said, about how you believe they should be! The first thing you must do to:
- grow stronger intellectually,
- make clearer intentional decisions,
- grow spiritually and take your intentional thinking at its peak…
… is to let go of any preconceived ideas you may have about you and about your current level of evolution. Your current level of consciousness. Also, your judgments and condemnation of yourself and other people, too. These are, most likely, mental attachments weighing heavily on you.
Deliberate thinking involves making changes.
You are learning new skills. You are finding a new understanding and you are opening to and allowing:
- new forms into your life,
- new attitudes,
- different perspectives,
- new people and different situations.
All your life, until now, and from now on is a continuous challenge to think in new and more expansive ways. This is how it unfolds inside you and in your day-to-day physical life. This is what you are doing as you read this book.
Sooner than you may think, as you master the mechanics of intentional thinking you will naturally learn to detach from:
- people’s personalities,
- self- imposed limitations,
- or imagined faults.
Like most people, you, too, may feel attached to other people’s opinions about you.
About how YOU are.
Therefore about what you do. About how you act, etc. You may expect their approval and validation. It is normal to feel this way after living your life until now, shadowed by obedience and guilt. However, these are unnecessary mental attachments.
With very few exceptions, all the people you know survived obedience and guilt while growing up. You know now what survival means in terms of growth: there is no growth in survival!
Most people I personally know confuse mental attachments with love. The thought of non-attachment worries them. Maybe, you too, think that if you don’t feel attached to people then you don’t love them. I understand this.
It’s a trap.
In reality, mental attachments, are not resourceful for the people you know and like. Just as they are un-resourceful to you, too. Not being attached to your own expectations out of people and to various circumstances doesn’t mean that you don’t care. You care! However, you do at a deeper level; honest, pure and simple.
It means you are not conditioned by the type of personality you notice every once in a while, at yourself or at the other people.
Non-attachment means that you know yourself. You know what your core values are, and you know how YOU think. It means that you honor your truth. Express your integrity out in the world. This is how you can truly love yourself, first, and anyone and anything. Also, it is how you allow others to love you back.
This is how you allow life to be.
Without – the oftentimes suffocating you with how life and people should be – mental attachments! You can have what you want! People can love you for who you are. They cannot love some projections you may project out now and then. Nor can you! You are free to be creative, to grow, and fulfill your potential. You are doing it when you don’t let what others think of you, limit you.
Or define who you are.
Anyone you admire, no matter who they are and what they did, be it in arts, science, sports, and spirituality, they didn’t look for everyone’s approval before they did anything. They trusted themselves and have acted based on their own inner messages; which, as you know by now, it means thinking.
When your most dominant personality trait is not willing to make the needed changes, sometimes, the events in your life will seem to speed the process of change, for you. Act upon the whispers and the inner messages you receive.
You do receive them.
It is you who conceives them, after all.
Developing your ability to practice non-attachment and letting go will accelerate your deliberate intentional thinking. Recall a time in your life when you have released something. You let it go. You have made a change and things went better than before. It is challenging to release, to let go of whatever is no longer serving you. Your old self- image may keep you as you are.
Embrace the new as it comes. Letting go is a crucial aspect of mindful thinking.
Deliberate thinking means growing.
To grow, you may want to let go of an attitude, such as anger, sadness, revenge, the need to be right. Sometimes, you will need to let go of roles, such as pretending to be a victim or a savior. Sometimes you will need to let go of a relationship or a job. Or a way of life. As you open to the new you naturally release the old when it no longer serves you.
Everything comes into your life as a situation in which you learn something, only about yourself. When the people, situations, or things have taught you all they could teach you, something new will show up that will offer you new opportunities to grow and evolve.
Can you truly imagine yourself now wearing the clothes and shoes you were wearing when you were twelve? Would you really wear them today?
I don’t think so.
How about the books from when you were little?
What would have happened to you if you were so attached to “Snow White” that you have decided that you don’t want to know about any other book for the rest of your life? If you believe that you need to hang on to what you have, because it may be the best you will ever get, you will not be here reading this book. You would not be in the very process you are in.
You are reading this book, and probably have read other books before this one, because you are thinking about change. Obviously, no matter the intensity, you do see yourself being, doing and having something different. Better maybe. Maybe more. Or, just different.
Even if you may not see how you will get it, yet.
Practice non-attachment by taking one small thing you feel attached to, and act for one day like you are not attached to it. Just watch yourself. What habits and routines are you attached to? You do not have to give up these preferences. Only your dependence on them. Once you can be happy with or without them, you are free. You can have them in your life without feeling or being controlled by them.
Observe what is going on around you calmly. Free of any judgment. Free of condemnation.
Some people may not see the value of what you are doing. Some people may feel threatened by new ideas, and they may express skepticism. Or they may criticize you, and your new way of thinking and acting. As you will advance with your intentional thinking you will detach from people’s reactions. You will value yourself according to your own internal sense of what you are worth.
Detach from needing to have things work out any certain way.
There are no failures.
Just life experiences. And the mental attachments; the shoulds of the world. You may seem to lose time. However, the grander scheme of things that time will always be made up for in other ways. Give yourself the gift of detaching from your fears and trust that everything is happening perfectly.
Intentional thinking means that you are growing through connecting with who you truly are. It is a process of continuous self-discovery. It is an intentional connection with yourself while you are progressively releasing your old limited identity. Also, it is an enlightening process. It is seeing All That Is as it is! Without any mental attachments, or “it should be like this or that!”
It naturally happens by acknowledging your inborn human abilities, first. Your innate equipment. And by using it with intent and conscious awareness. You want a new way of being, thinking and acting. And, you unquestionably getting it through study and practice.
The old makes no sense anymore!
Too many things that we have learned in school as we grew up seem unpractical, or untrue today. At best, incomplete. In all the subjects we were taught about, not too long ago, new discoveries go mainstream. Like, every hour.
There is no such place you reach where you stop growing and are perfect. You are perfect, already. And you are continuously growing and learning. No matter how high you go, there are higher and higher levels you will reach.
You must master your inner mechanics. Therefore, you will take your thinking to its peak. You can easily harmonize with all kinds of people. Experience friendly smiles, love, and peace wherever you go. Some of the people from around you may feel disturbed, or even irritated, by your growth.
Let this be!
When you chose to be awake and deliberate, you’ll see that
- spiritual growth,
- personal growth,
- personal development
… are just different names for the same thing. Essentially, we grow:
- intellectually and physically,
- and spiritually.
There are no boundaries between these three.
Consciously connecting with our essence and using that connection to accelerate our thinking abilities is, the way I see it, a process of enlightenment. It is done by intent. And, it is achievable by purpose.
Thinking is a process we are consistently doing rather than a place we can reach. In this process, we develop self-confidence, self-love, clarity, and other important qualities we are using in our human experience. It can be an experience of immense play and deep inner joy.
It brings us increasingly higher levels of order, harmony, and insight into every area of our day-to-day life. Intentional thinking achieved through a spiritual understanding, together with the mechanics of how it all works, of how we function as human beings, is, at least for me, the single most important thing one can focus on if one wants a joyful, peaceful, abundant and loving life.
Intentional thinking is spiritual growth.
As we grow spiritually we see the bigger picture of our life. The path of humanity’s evolution. And our part in it.
I have discovered my labor of love, my life’s work. And, believe me, not too long ago I was a bundle of walking-talking mental attachments. However, in the very process of learning this material, I have discovered the strengths, the skills and the understanding of all these ideas from within me. And I am not special. Nor, do I think I’m smarter than you. Or lucky. I’ve just studied. And, I still do it consistently.
So, can you!
Your life’s work makes a meaningful contribution to yourself, your life, other people and the Earth itself. It is something you love to be. Therefore, you act so. You can do what you love all the time.
Your work can be your play.
As you open to who and what you truly are, your mind, your perceiver, the cells in your body, shine through with divine ideas and thoughts. Your emotions become harmonious, as they assist you in creating loving relationships. As you grow spiritually, you connect with people in different, higher ways. Your growth allows you to trust more. Keep your heart open. Reach new levels of sharing and intimacy.
Mindful thinking means being able to have deeper, more meaningful connections with your loved ones. You become responsible for your own actions. And for all the concrete results in your life:
- and free time.
You make a switch from a thinking pattern such as:
“How things and people should be to get what I want?”,
which is another way to define mental attachments, to a different, more productive thinking pattern, like:
“What do I want to be, to do, and, to have. And, how can I get it?”
It is a huge difference.
Non-attachment is taking and loving people as they are. Non-attachment is living detached from their personalities. And, from what you imagine they should be like.
Living with non-attachment is to focus on the greatness from within all the other people. Only with a non-attached approach, you can truly appreciate someone or something.
Only when you are non-attached you can truly forgive.
Living non-attached means, you are free.
Can you truly love your children when you perceive them as something you must fix? Are you willing to consider the idea of fixing someone as possible mental attachments. Maybe unconscious ones, but, still mental attachments.
Do you love them when you think you must save, help and protect them from themselves? For their own good? Do you love them when you act as if you know what is best for them? As if you do, when in fact you don’t! Do you love them when you forbid them anything and everything you don’t understand about them?
Do you love your partner, spouse, man or woman if you want to change them?
You are responsible for allowing life work.
That is all.
Allow freedom to other people. You will allow yourself freedom. People come and go in your life all the time. The greatest gift you give yourself and other people is to allow your own freedom and their own freedom, as well. Allow them to be. Let them go on their own way just as you are on your own way. Friends will leave your life. As you grow, other people will either grow, too, and stay in your life.
Or they will leave in a way or another.
Accept yourself if you do not feel like investing as much time as you used to with friends who seem to refuse to grow. Give yourself permission to invest your time where it brings you the most joy. You do not serve anybody – especially YOU – by staying at a level you don’t enjoy, just to keep people company and make them feel good. However, by constantly improving your thinking, by growing, you do serve others.
And yourself, too.
Please take some time to think about these ideas, here. Non-attachment is vital for understanding.
In the coming episode, and the last one of the “Think Zing!” series, we’ll discover: The Vision refining questions!
Until then, be well.
You can find all the episodes of the “Think Zing!” series hosted at The Zingnificent Show.