Opening! In this part, you will learn more about opening perception. Also, about the importance of acknowledging strengths.

“The next time you feel unworthy, inadequate or inferior, remember that these experiences have nothing to do with humbleness, any more than lowering yourself to connect with another individual has to do with humbleness. There are no lower or higher individuals in the perception of a humble person, only souls. There is only love.”

– Gary Zukav

We started to open ourselves to the unknown, to the unseen and the new. There are two ideas that I find perfect to start this chapter with. Eye and mind-opening ideas!

  • First: the power of NO!
  • Second: nature’s imbalance!

Oddly enough, this is one way we are opening up! Then, in the coming episode, we’ll talk about your most natural strengths, which are, in many ways, some of your main thinking tools.

The power of NO

Most people believe that NO is a negative word, especially the people who are following self-help disciplines. In self-help, we teach ourselves to be positive, to think positive and live like it. I couldn’t agree more. I believe in living a life of passion, excitement, joy, abundance, sharing, opening and truth.

However, I have learned that taking the negative out of life is chopping it. It is making artificial that which is natural, not opening our minds to what is. Too much positivism invites delusion into our lives. It invites the trance, dressed up in polarised convictions. It invites the artificial and abnormal disguised in normality. NO is very much needed!

NO is part of what is just as everything is. Say it! NO!

It truly is liberating!

You need to say NO more when you find yourself in too many toxic activities and inertia.

You need to say NO whenever you are over-complicating your life with too much talking, explaining and countless plans. Also, you need to say NO to flamboyant plans, and self-identification with various circumstances. You need to say NO to indulgence in oblivion.

NO affirms the truth, too. NO is positive too, it just has a different form.

Years ago, when I have personally woken up on somebody’s sofa, ignoring my innermost truth; the first idea that woke me up was:

“NO more! NO, this is NOT how I want to live my life!”

I told myself.

Each time I have found myself tripping on my ego, being immersed in activities that made me feel miserable, NO has saved me. Many mediocre careers I have ended with NO. Also, I have saved myself from many seducing pitfalls with NO. I actually believe I didn’t use it enough, but, it doesn’t matter.

NO leads to clarity and simplicity. NO keeps you on course. I love NO. I love YES, too, but there are times in life when NO is the right word to use. As often as I can, I encourage my daughters to say NO whenever NO feels appropriate to them.

We all teach ourselves to lie.

In times we are very little, we sometimes think that some smart avoidance of a clear negation means affirming some truth. It doesn’t. A lie is a lie no matter how well we disguise it. No matter the efforts and the mind games. NO saves us from lying.

“Yes, but!”

Means: NO.

“I’ll try!”

Means: NO.


Means: NO.

“We’ll see!”

Means: NO.

“I don’t know!”

Means: NO. Hesitations, mean: NO! Do you find it hard to say it?

I did!

NO was the unspeakable word.

While being naturally kind, I made such a huge effort to be likable, most of my life until recently. Also, I have made efforts to hide, distort, avoid and manipulate situations. Just saying NO would have saved me much time, frustration, confusion, and money, too.

“NO, I need NO more certification from you Mr. Marketer!”

That would have saved me good money.

“NO, I need NO more newsletters, special reports, and the latest tips and tricks!”

That would have saved me from a daily e-mail bombardment and saved me time and money, too.

“NO, we need NO drama, honey!”

That would have spared us, my one and only wife and me, of two loud divorces while losing a ton of money in both processes. Also, we almost lost our life usual standards and our businesses.

“NO, thank you!”

That would have saved me time. Also, it would have spared me from frustration, conflicts, tensions, and all sorts of emotional pain.

A long time practiced YES without really meaning it…

… means NO.

“NO more!” starts the process of liberation. Start your new life by deciding what you are NOT going to be and do anymore. Use the power of negation! It is a tremendous power. Be proud of what you are NOT. Embrace NO. Let it help you in your self-discovery process.

NO can be a positive negative. It is what little children say when they start to express their newly formed personalities. I will NOT insist.

“People think focus means saying yes to the thing you’ve got to focus on. But that’s not what it means at all. It means saying no to the hundred other good ideas that there are. You have to pick carefully. I’m actually as proud of the things we haven’t done as the things I have done. Innovation is saying no to 1,000 things.”

– Steve Jobs

There is another idea, very important for one’s opening!

Nature’s imbalance.

More than a hundred years ago, a man named Vilfredo Pareto, an economist observed an imbalance in the wealth distribution on Earth. His observations say that a minority of the causes, inputs or efforts, lead to a majority of results, outputs or rewards. This observation is called the Pareto Principle. Or, The Rule of the Vital Few as the Romanian born, an American engineer, Moses Juran, coined it.

Or, even simpler, the 80/20 rule, as Richard Koch defined it.

The rule says that 80% of the consequences of our life flow from 20% of its causes. Therefore, 80% of the results of our life are coming from 20% of our efforts. It is interesting that most people are living this principle in their lives, unaware of it. Often times the principle is completely reversed. They give 80% or more effort, time and other resources and get 20% or less of the desired results and rewards.

That is a time when “No more!” becomes decisive. Many of us believe an idea to be true:

The 50/50 idea.

However, it is not true. It doesn’t exist in nature.

Look at the simplest true story ever: You plant a seed. One seed. Care for it. Nurture it. That’s 20% effort, or even less. Then, nature gives you a tree charged with fruits full of hundreds of alike seeds, just from one seed. That’s 80% or more rewards. Can you see it? Is this 50 / 50? Far from it! Look at your life! The 80 / 20 rule is there, too. It doesn’t have to be an accurate 80 / 20. Most times it is not. Nevertheless, you will observe an unbalance between effort and reward, input and output, cause and results.

Start with your time.

It is key for an opening!

Let’s say you spend 80% or more of your time in meaningless, trivial, or even toxic activities. That means that you will have 20% or much less time to invest in yourself;

  • in mental capital,
  • thinking skills,
  • finding your strengths,
  • staying fit and healthy,
  • finally, constant study.

Thinking, entrepreneurial ambitions, solving personal challenges are skills sets that must be studied and applied. Implemented. Success has many definitions for many people. No matter how anyone defines it, achieving success in anything stands in how you use your time. Go back to Part 5, please, and, read again about Values!

Here are 5 questions!

I often play with them. They have helped me in my own opening.

  1. How much do I learn, how much time do I give to my ongoing education?
  2. Also, how much of what I am learning do I apply?
  3. And, how much time, out of all my time, do I really enjoy?
  4. What are the specific, concrete results that I am getting from how I am investing my time?
  5. Except for sleeping, where does my time go?

Answer honestly!

It’s you talking to you.

You will completely and permanently cure yourself of:

  • wishful thinking,
  • anxiety,
  • depression,
  • panic,
  • imagined failure,
  • meaningless gossip,
  • confusion,
  • frustration,
  • unrealistic expectations,
  • lies and many pesky beliefs, too many to mention.

Start to wonder just about these 5 questions. Use them to open up to a different level of understanding who you are!

As you answer your question see how you can integrate the 80/20 rule. If you find it as fascinating as I have found it, you can go deeper into this idea with Richard Koch’s book “The 80/20 Principle”.

In the coming episode, we’ll cover Natural Strengths.

Until then, be well.

You can find all the episodes of the “Think Zing!” series hosted at The Zingnificent Show.

Sandi Dragoi

Informal Educator, Author of "Think Zing! How to be YOU!", "Transformation Inside-Out" online course, and other self-awareness courses and books. The Host of The Zingnificent Show, Speaker & Personal Instructor. Above everything, Dad, in Love! ❤️

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